Alyssa Rocco is on a mission to create positive change in the world. She is currently a Senior Life Coach at Handel Group, which she discovered seven years ago after finding a deep desire to change her career. After one session with a coach at Handel Group, she quickly discovered what was missing - she wasn't living true to her own dreams; she wasn’t happy, and she didn’t know how to become happy. This realization inspired a journey: Alyssa changed careers and became a coach. She learned how to date honestly, transformed the dynamic in her family, navigated addiction, and confronted how to create and maintain great relationships in her life. Her analytical mindset and process-oriented nature led to her work in the Media Division, and most recently, to build, test, and launch Inner.U, Handel Group’s first digital course. Alyssa grew up in Boston and she received her Bachelor’s degree in communication, film and technical writing from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and her Master’s degree in Organizational Psychology from the Massachusetts School of Psychology. She is certified in process improvement techniques and six sigma practices. She is also a dancer and practices 5 Rhythms dance.
Alyssa Rocco is on a mission to create positive change in the world. Along with living her recovery from alcoholism and an eating disorder, she is currently a Senior Life Coach at Handel Group, which she discovered seven years ago after finding a deep desire to change her career. After one session with a coach at Handel Group, she quickly discovered what was missing - she wasn't living true to her own dreams; she wasn’t happy, and she didn’t know how to become happy.
This realization inspired a journey: Alyssa changed careers and became a coach. She learned how to date honestly, transformed the dynamic in her family, navigated addiction, and confronted how to create and maintain great relationships in her life. Her analytical mindset and process-oriented nature led to her work in the Media Division, and most recently, to build, test, and launch Inner.U, Handel Group’s first digital course.
Alyssa grew up in Boston and she received her Bachelor’s degree in communication, film and technical writing from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and her Master’s degree in Organizational Psychology from the Massachusetts School of Psychology. She is certified in process improvement techniques and six sigma practices. She is also a dancer and practices 5 Rhythms dance.
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Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Hello, beautiful people, welcome to The Courage to Change: A Recovery Podcast, my name is Ashley Loeb Blassingame and I am your host. Today we have Alyssa Rocco. Alyssa is on a mission to create positive change in the world. She is currently a senior life coach at Handel Group, which she discovered seven years ago after finding a deep desire to change her career. After one session with a coach in Handel Group, she quickly discovered what was missing. She wasn't living true to her own dreams. She wasn't happy and she didn't know how to become happy. This realization inspired a journey, Alyssa changed careers and became a coach. She learned how to date honestly, transformed the dynamic in her family, navigated addiction and confronted how to create and maintain great relationships in her life. She brings a deep understanding of The Handle Method to the work she does with her clients and students at MIT.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Her analytical mindset and process-oriented nature led to her work in the media division and most recently, to build, test and launch Inner.U, Handel Group's first digital course. Alyssa grew up in Boston and she received her bachelor's degree in communication, film and technical writing from University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and her master's degree in organizational psychology from Massachusetts School of Psychology. She is certified in process improvement techniques and Six Sigma practices. She's a dancer and practices 5 Rhythms dance. Alyssa is currently living in New York. Oh, guys, you're in for such a good one.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Alyssa is amazing, absolutely amazing. She shares with us at the end of the episode some health things that she's going through, and how she is using all of the tools and skills that she's learned to overcome these challenges that are going on right now as we speak. Her sobriety and recovery are amazing. Her eating disorder recovery is amazing. She just is an absolute delight and I'm really, really excited for you to hear about how she has made her life into something that she wants it to be. All right, Episode 50, let's do this. Alyssa, welcome. Thank you so much for being here.
Alyssa Rocco:
Thank you for having me, it's such an honor and a privilege. I'm excited for the conversation.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Yeah, me too. So, okay, you are in Boston right now.
Alyssa Rocco:
I am. I usually live in New York City, so [crosstalk 00:02:48] out in Boston, but yes, I'm from here originally, so my family is all here.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Okay, so, I'm reading your background and I'm like, okay, so basically, you grew up in an Italian Irish family in Boston and your dad is an undertaker.
Alyssa Rocco:
Yes, that sounds correct.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Absolutely amazing. I love every moment, [inaudible 00:03:15] about that. What is it like growing up as the undertaker's daughter and the oldest of four, right?
Alyssa Rocco:
Oh, there's four, exactly. Well, the unusual thing about growing up in that environment is that death is not taboo. Death is part of the conversation. Everybody is talking about, it really is how we make money. And I think what I learned from my dad is he really knew how to be with people when they grieve, when they were at their... Really saw the dark, and I always wanted to help people like he did. But I also really saw his relationship to death being so close to it. He really sort of treated it like, well, people will remember me when I die. It was sort of like this martyred way of thinking about death, everything he had on his list was like, well, it doesn't matter if I can't do it in this lifetime, because people will remember me when I die. And I just thought, that is so lame.
Alyssa Rocco:
And we've giggled about this since because I am like, "I want to be proud of how I die. I want to live in a way that I'm content when I die." And I didn't know that when I was young, obviously but ultimately, I think it really informed the decisions that I made become a life coach because I was inspired by that sort of mission, that was one of them anyway.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
So, when you say, up-close to death, obviously he's up-close to death, right? That's definitely, and it's funny, my sister is an artist and an illustrator in San Francisco and she does this series around... She lost her best friend who was hit by a car in San Francisco when she was 24, and she does this illustration series around how death is this really natural thing that we don't talk about, right? And how all the implications of that, of like, it happens all the time, but we can't talk about it, so you're not prepared for it, so you don't know how to deal with it, everything that comes along with that. And so, I always... Thinking from the perspective of you grow up where your... What your dad does for a living is deal with death all day long, and not just like... He's not just selling the coffins or sending the flowers, he is in it, every aspect of it from gory details all the way to the flowers kind of deal.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
So, when you have death as a regular part of your life, how does that influence the living part? When it's part of the conversation in your family, how does that influence the living part particularly, as a child, that you saw was different from other people?
Alyssa Rocco:
Yeah, I think I was just always comfortable with it. I grew up... My grandmother lived upstairs from the actual funeral home, and actually later on in life, I lived up there as well. But I remember just going downstairs and seeing dead bodies and touching dead bodies, and that was like... It didn't scare me. And I also remember having comfort with, death is more of a physical ending, not a spiritual one. So, when people died, I still talk to them and that was normal, right?
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
So, it made you more spiritual.
Alyssa Rocco:
Exactly. It made me more spiritual in that the physical life is more fluid, and I know this is maybe a little bit woo-woo, but it was just sort of how I saw that. When our bodies die, there's a physical ending to our lives on this earth as we know them, but not a spiritual or a soul ending. And so, I just grew up in an environment where I wasn't afraid of death, I talked to people who died, I felt like they were all my angels. When my grandparents passed, eventually, I lived in the room that my grandfather died in and I just felt very protected. And always, they were my angels, and they still are.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
And how did other people react to the fact that your dad was an undertaker?
Alyssa Rocco:
All over the map. People have a lot of curiosity about death and the business of death and dying, so that was something, six feet under. I was sort of known as [inaudible 00:07:53] people were always asking questions about it, and people would come over and sort of be curious about it, so there was that. I just think that death is definitely something that we're... In my business now as a life coach, we dub death like the 13th area of life. Because there's 12 areas of life that we really deal with here on this world, but then it's such a big part of our life and something that is inevitable for all of us. And so, I think, for me, it was just really about talking about it and having it not be taboo, and having it just be something that is part of life, the same as living is.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Right. Interesting that your dad was a death coach and you're a life coach, right?
Alyssa Rocco:
True. I've never thought about him as a death coach, but that's... Is very spot on. I love that.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Yeah, he was. He coached people through every aspect of it, right?
Alyssa Rocco:
Yeah, it's true.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
That's interesting. Aside from that piece of it, what was your childhood like?
Alyssa Rocco:
Yeah. So, I would say that my childhood looked very normal, I grew up in a middle income, regular, normal childhood, everything looked fine. I would say that inside, I was always incredibly anxious and nervous. And I grew up in a very religious household. My mom is Catholic, always praying, church on Sundays. But I think that how that impacted me was, I was always praying to God, always feeling guilty, always feeling like I needed to be saved from something. And that was pretty much how I lived, survived childhood until I got to high school, very scared child.
Alyssa Rocco:
And I had a couple of different outlets, one was dance, which I was talking to Christiana about yesterday, dance was my refuge from my mind. It was the way out of my mind. And another was sugar. And that was my first addiction, I would say, where I would do anything. I mean, I would steal my brother's and sister's candy, I would do anything for candy and sugar and very much plotted and strategized how to get that into my life. And so that, looking back, was the first place that I really could see addictive mind and behavior.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
What were some of the things that are different from the child that really wants to have candy to the child who's using it as an escape? How did yours look different?
Alyssa Rocco:
I think that it was the way that I rewarded myself. So, I can't speak to how it would be different for normal versus me now knowing I'm an addict, but I think for me, it's more the obsessiveness about it. I always had an obsessive mind, and that was the first thing I put my obsessiveness on. It was like, I just always knew how to... Once I had it in my mind, I wanted sugar, that was it. And I remember I used to eat waffles when I was a kid for breakfast. And I only ate waffles because I got Cool Whip with it. And then, I remember after a while, I was like, "Why am I eating the waffle?" Because I remember the [inaudible 00:11:25] just got bigger and bigger, but more and more and more and the waffle was secondary. I'm like, "Why have that at all?" And I just switched entirely to whipped cream, that was what I had for breakfast for a period [inaudible 00:11:35]. So, it is like, I just was obsessed.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Yeah, yeah, I do know. [crosstalk 00:11:38] I know exactly. Yeah. I always think it's funny when I'm feeding my kids and it's like waffles or pancakes or whatever, and meanwhile, we're like, "Okay, you can't have insert chocolate pudding or whatever before dinner. You can't have it... Whatever the thing is, because it's not desert time or whatever." I don't know, whatever, random... Socially acceptable thing that is in my head about it and I'm like, "You just had a waffle with... You just had dessert for breakfast, what am I talking..."
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
But it's interesting, it's kind of like mimosas in the morning. When I got sober I was like, "Okay, wait a minute." I was drinking vodka in the morning, you said that wasn't okay. All I had to do was add some champagne and orange juice and now that's okay? Wait a minute, I was drinking the wrong thing you guys, that doesn't... If you're not an alcoholic for drinking in the morning that, then... And it's kind of like the sugar thing, right? Where it's like, it's super unmanageable if you're eating the wrong thing, but if you're eating the right thing, then it's breakfast.
Alyssa Rocco:
Completely, oh my god, I can so relate.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
So, did other people notice this was a thing or were your parents like, "Oh, Alyssa..." Or, not really, there's four of you so probably not a lot of time.
Alyssa Rocco:
Well, not in my family but I would actually... I had a best friend who lived next door and I was known in her family as the candy bowl girl, because I would go over to her house and literally steal every single piece of candy in the candy bowl in the middle of the room, and I would act like nobody knew what I was doing, and I would always leave one because I was ashamed of taking the last one, and then I would cartwheel home next door, and the candy would go flying, and I would sometimes leave trails and everybody knew that I was always stealing the candy. So, that was a cute story. Still to this day, my friend from childhood, her father will call me, the candy bowl girl.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
That's so funny. So yeah, so other people noticed. Did a weight problem accompany it?
Alyssa Rocco:
Not until high school. So, in high school, I stopped... I was a competitive gymnast and dancer growing up, in high school, I really started caring more about friends and being popular than I did about exercise. And I started gaining weight, and that wasn't okay by me. And therefore, I would control my weight by binging, and mostly binging at that point. I think high school was really when I started having a very dysmorphic view of my body and being obsessed about looking good and therefore it wasn't going to be okay to eat whatever I wanted anymore and gain weight. And that's the approach that I took and nobody knew about it. I didn't tell anybody about it at that point. It didn't come out till much later.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
So, I have a kind of like... Might be silly question, but do you think that the fact that... So death is this natural thing that happens to us, right? And it's something that we all kind of partake in. But then people go and they have someone put makeup on the dead body and make it look all pretty on the outside when I mean, the reality is quite different. And this is a very important accepted... Particularly, if you're Catholic, you have the viewing and so, do you think any of that infiltrated as like, it's always important to present a certain way?
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Even until your dying moments, you have to... Because you probably saw dead bodies before they were made up, so you knew what the difference was, right? So, as a kid, it's like, oh, this body isn't ready to be in front of people. Until your dying moment, until you're put in the ground, you have to be made up. I don't know, I just popped into my head, it's like, "I wonder if."
Alyssa Rocco:
Yeah. It's a really interesting theory and definitely subconsciously probably made a difference for me. I hadn't thought about it that way until you just brought it up. But I did grow up in a culture, my family culture, where a lot of attention was put on how you appeared. And that was not just from a vain perspective, my dad really cared about looking good, and if you looked good, you were good. And I really saw that and I thought that if I looked pretty, if I looked attractive, it didn't matter what I did behind the scenes, because all that mattered was I looked good.
Alyssa Rocco:
So, I definitely thought that that was the way, except I couldn't solve the problem of how empty I felt inside and I really did, I really... Inside was consumed with a lot of worry and guilt and just comparing myself to other people, and why did everyone else look so happy, and why was she popular? And why did she have more friends? And it was a constant nagging in my mind that I wasn't enough, there was something wrong, and therefore, I was trying to solve that problem by presenting okay, and it seemed like it worked for everybody else. And on the outside, I was getting accolades for looking a certain way, but it never solved that inner problem. And I kept looking for ways to solve the inner problem, food was one of them, then came alcohol a little bit later.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). So, how did you stay away from alcohol in the high school years?
Alyssa Rocco:
I drank a little bit, but it didn't give me the high as the food construction did. And I also had very protective older best friend in high school who was like, "Stay away from the older guys, stay away from the booze." And so, it was just like, it wasn't super present in my life until I got to college.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Okay. And it sounds like... So two things. One is that when you say that restricting was a big behavior, it sounds like... That's a very... Getting the high from anorexia, right? From that.
Alyssa Rocco:
Exactly.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
And I hate to say this, I only say it because hopefully, someone will relate. But from the perspective of someone who struggles with binge eating disorder and compulsive eating, I felt like I got the worst eating disorder, I'm like, "If I had to have an eating disorder, couldn't I have the skinny eating disorder? What is this? This is such (beep)" [inaudible 00:18:56] the worst of the disorders. But-
Alyssa Rocco:
[inaudible 00:19:00].
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
I literally would sit in a room full of eating disorders and think to myself, like, "I got totally (beep). I got (beep). This is (beep)." My sponsor said one thing to me and just for listeners, she said, "Ashley, maybe the universe knew that you weren't strong enough to be the person that had to gain the weight to get well, that you were the person who needed to lose weight to get well." And I was like, "Oh, that is mind blowing." Because the thought of having to gain weight to get well, is like, that is terrifying and that's probably what you experienced in some form.
Alyssa Rocco:
Actually, yes, very much so. I remember when my... It wasn't until many years later when my coach actually forced me to gain weight and that was the most horrifying, scariest moment. And also I went through the egg freeze process and putting a lot of... So, the process of actually then wanting to have a baby forced me to be okay with having to gain weight. So, we'll probably get into that a little bit later.
Alyssa Rocco:
Just to close the loop on this little piece, one thing that I discovered about anorexia, right? Which is really starvation, I'm not... Very much scarcity in getting high from that control and that restriction, I not only was that way with food, I was like that with everything, with joy, with pleasing myself, with pleasure, with money, I really lived on that model of getting high from nothing in so many areas of my life, which also really, obviously, cut off joy. I cut off letting myself experience all those beautiful, wonderful emotions that we're meant to experience as human beings. So, I don't know if that makes it up to you, but it was very much true for me.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
No, no, it's just a funny... It's like, it's just that level of sickness where I'm sitting in a room full of people and we're struggling and instead of, like, "Oh, you had to have a feeding tube?" Whatever it is, right? And I'm thinking to myself, like, "I got screwed, I got totally screwed. I had to have this..." And it's like that, always comparing. To my dying moment, I'm going to be comparing. And the grass is always greener, never really... Always wanting to be something different than what I am and focusing on how the problem I could have is different as opposed to the solution to make the whole thing better. Just like, it's an addiction mindset, I think, that is constantly going on for us.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
And I also think that, anorexia is something that a lot of people don't understand very well, in the sense that they're like, "Just eat, you're being stubborn, or whatever." There's just a lot of stuff, and some of that mindset is that too, I just thought there was [inaudible 00:22:17] wrong with me because I couldn't starve myself, right?
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
That's where drugs came in, because that was the only way that was happening. I'm just not capable. So, your restriction on joy, right? I am like, an indulgent, where the train is moving so fast, I just need its scarcity in the other direction. It's like, I just have to absorb as much of it as I possibly can, because I never know when it's going to come back. It's probably never going to be here. It's never going to happen for me. And so, I just have to take everything that I need right now.
Alyssa Rocco:
Yes. So, one really cool tool that I've learned, that really addresses this moment is naming that voice-
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Okay, so it's about that.
Alyssa Rocco:
And the humor about her. So, my anorexia, I've named Rex. I call her Rexy. Okay. Because she's never going away, that voice of like, do I wish I was always a few pounds less on the scale? I used to cancel dates if I wasn't 104 pounds on the scale. That's what she says to me, you're not good enough because you're not at the right weight. That first knee-jerk response, that is my disease, it doesn't go anywhere, right? I just don't listen. I know exactly the voice and therefore calling her Rex and loving her up and remembering she's just part of what comes with me, is one of the ways that I navigate it. And that is something that I learned through coaching of how to actually name those voices, and develop a sense of humor about them, so that they don't own me anymore, I own them. I can put Rex in her corner.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Right. And now, everyone is wondering if we're all multiple personality disorder.
Alyssa Rocco:
[crosstalk 00:24:11].
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
It's funny, is that I used to say... When I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, I got into substance use recovery. And they were like, "You're a drug addict and an alcoholic." I was like, "Oh, thank God." I was worried. I was like, "Oh, the voice, the whole thing." And they were like, "Well, are you hearing other people's wisdom?" I'm like, "No, no, they're my own voice? It's my own voice, but it's loud and it's different things and whenever." They're like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's alcohol." I was like, "Oh." Just that utter relief. I thought we were in big trouble. I thought this was something way worse. But it is, it's these different voices that talk to us, that are different components of our personality.
Alyssa Rocco:
Yes.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Okay. So, what was the threshold for not going on a date? 106?
Alyssa Rocco:
104.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
104. So, what if you were 105?
Alyssa Rocco:
It was one moment in particular, there was this guy, Owen, I really liked. And I had been wanting him to ask me out, and it was a Monday after a binge over the weekend, which was very much how I drank. And so, I can tell you about that, I'll speed it up a little bit in a minute. But I would drink over the weekend and then Monday, I remember, it would start all over again, where I would control, control, control, and I woke up and I was 104. And that was like... I ended up canceling my date because I just felt so bloated and gross and it wasn't okay.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). It just reminds me of the... Maybe you're much more dignified, but where... My friends and I, we would be like, "Oh, did you hook up with him?" We're like, "No, I like him." I only hooked up with the guy I don't like, where you have these... For people you like, you have to be a certain level of perfection, right? Never mind the fact that for Joe Schmo it's no big deal, but if you actually like the person, you're putting on this whole persona of who you want them to think you are.
Alyssa Rocco:
1,000,000% with my [inaudible 00:26:26] in every way.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Oh, sorry, guys. It's our worst kept secret. You're like [inaudible 00:26:33] Yeah, she just won't put out. So, you had these friends that looked out for you in terms of the drinking piece, so you get to college, where did you go to college?
Alyssa Rocco:
I went to UMass Amherst. I started at UConn and then I transferred into UMass, and college is where my drinking really took off. And this was really because one, I discovered when... From my first sip of alcohol, it was what they talk about in the Big Book where there was this feeling of elusiveness, this indescribable feeling of just confidence. And I was the most powerful human being in the world. I could say anything and I could be totally true to myself when I started drinking. And that was the part that was so... I mean, obviously, there was physical craving, and there was the mental obsession, but I was attracted and loved alcohol for that reason. And it became my new favorite thing more so than the food restriction, although I very much when I drank, where I always landed was in a bag of candy. I mean, that was what would happen.
Alyssa Rocco:
So, in college, I would drink to a blackout, I never knew what nights I was going to be able to stop or go to bed safely, and what nights I was going to black out and wake up with candy in some random place. And that's how I drank through college still [inaudible 00:28:00], still controlling my weight, still very... So, I had those addictions, I mean, and I really isolated myself in college. I felt very disconnected from people, very dark, very alone. And as the end of college neared, even more so, I was scared, because I graduated... I had communications degree, I had no idea what I was doing after college. It was like the first time in my life where I didn't have a structure set up and I was scared. So, drinking a lot, binging a lot on food, and also controlling what I ate and pretty isolated and sick.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Do any communications majors know what they want to do?
Alyssa Rocco:
I don't know. I really... My dad used to call me, he's like, "You should go into communications because you're a good talker, Alyssa." and I'm like, "Okay, that sounds like a good idea." And then my senior year, because I was so petrified I was going to graduate without any plan, I put myself through... The English department at UMass had this technical writing certificate program where they 99% place people out of college, and I did that as like my Hail Mary in my senior year because I'm like, "Well, maybe I'll get a job through them." They ended up getting a job in biotech in Boston, and that became my new obsession after college because I was like, "This is going to be my saving grace, it's going to give me my value, make money." And I took on climbing the corporate ladder like no one you've ever seen.
Alyssa Rocco:
I really knew how to make relationships and make myself grow and learn, and always I loved learning, so it was one of the places I could put my obsessive mind to good use, except that the problem was, I never solved what I was doing in the background, which was still overly working out so that I could... Restricting what I ate so that on the weekends, I could go party to the max and that was really how I lived all through my 20s. Also dating the senior top guy at work and lying about it and just like, again, presenting happy-go-lucky girl and behind the scenes was just numbing out and not telling anybody about it.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
How did the bulimia piece come in? Was that a very regular piece? And did you hide that like, "Oh, I'm throwing up the alcohol?" Was there any component? How did those things look?
Alyssa Rocco:
Yeah, good question. It was not super regular, it was when I... So, I would definitely binge, meaning that I would control and restrict during the week and binge on the weekend. And if I over binged, I would be bulimic and that would be the end of it. It was also emotional based. I remember being around my parents when they were fighting and repressing all of these feelings and then deserving eating and binging. Because I was better than them, I didn't get into their drama, I deserve something for witnessing what I couldn't control.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
That deserve. I mean, I see it all the time, I do it all the... It's like if you... We do it with our kids where it's like, if you do this, you can get a piece of whatever it is that you want, or like, just regularly how food is, you have a celebratory dinner, or [inaudible 00:31:48] take you out to... And so, that's a really hard place, particularly when you have that eating disorder component. To get out of that, this is my joy, this is my reward for enduring the feelings.
Alyssa Rocco:
Exactly. And it was convenient, right? Because-
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Right, you were going to do it anyway.
Alyssa Rocco:
I was going to do it anyway. And in that moment, I got exactly what I wanted. I got to eat, not gain weight, and not have to tell the truth about what I really thought and felt to my parents. And for me, what I learned was, all of my addictive behaviors really were convenient in not getting me to deal in relationships. And I was petrified. That was my biggest fear, and was in being vulnerable and being honest, I had no idea how to do that. And so, those behaviors... All of this worked perfectly together to have me look one way, and then really be something else, and it all kind of came to a head. Actually, about seven years in to working my job at the biotech company, being successful, about to marry this man I was dating for five years, and I started to get really scared, because I just knew that the way I was drinking alcohol and I was lying about it, I was like... Would sneak, I was such a sneak.
Alyssa Rocco:
My boyfriend and I were watching football on TV and I would pretend to go to the bathroom and I would take swigs of beer from the fridge. So, I would very much sneaking, had double life. And I knew that this wasn't right, there was something that was going to have to push. So, I thought that changing careers was the answer. So, I started looking... I went back to school. I got my master's in organizational psychology. I decided I was going to leave biotech, I decided I was going to help people. That was what I needed. And that is fortuitously what landed me in a one hour coaching session with a life coach who showed up... I decided I was going to go become a fitness instructor, also, and I was doing this training in New York to be a fitness instructor. And this life coach was there and she gave out these coupons and I sat down for one hour.
Alyssa Rocco:
And in the one hour, it was the first time somebody had read what I wrote about my dreams, about what I actually wanted, and actually reflected back to me what I was thinking inside. And what she reflected was, "Why are you going to marry this guy? You're not in love with him." And I was like, "Oh, (beep). She's right." And that is what started this whole long journey where I told him the truth. I'm like, "I don't know if I can date you anymore." I was so petrified. I did this longer weekend with them called this... Weekend workshop, Designing your Life. And in this workshop, I told a room of strangers that I was pulling back. And that is really what started my recovery journey. Because in that moment, I knew I couldn't lie about it anymore. And I made a promise to them and to myself and to my family. I came clean to my family. I told them all, that I was doing this, and I said, "If I do this again, I'll tell you."
Alyssa Rocco:
And that was the first time I started learning real accountability. With all the stuff that we teach in coaching is really how to be true to yourself, right? By taking action and making promises and having accountability around what you say you're going to do. And so, after that, I only was bulimic one more time because the pain of having to face them and tell them was beyond. I didn't want to do that anymore and that stopped that behavior.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
So, were you engaged to this guy?
Alyssa Rocco:
No, but we were talking about marriage.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Getting married. Okay. And so, you tell this room of people that you are bulimic, what did you think people were going react? And what was that experience like?
Alyssa Rocco:
It was easier to tell people who were strangers the truth. And I think that you see that a lot. I know [inaudible 00:36:27] She Recovers, they have the shame booth, just being able to just share our story is so powerful. Wow. But I just remember the experience of telling a room of strangers and there was just like this relief that flooded through me and all of this emotion that I didn't know was inside at all. I work so hard over my whole life to repress everything that I didn't know how much I had inside of me until I was staring at everybody telling them that when my parents get upset and they fight with each other, I use that as an excuse to go be bulimic, it just all came out.
Alyssa Rocco:
And it was overwhelming in a really beautiful way because I realized in that moment that I couldn't keep lying. And also I didn't have to, because their response was so generous and loving. And I instantly felt that, and now looking back, I know that that's God's grace. And that's very much how it's worked for me over the years when I tell the truth, I receive God's grace in that moment.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Stay tuned to hear more in just a moment. Hello, everybody, this is Ashley Loeb Blassingame, the co-founder of Lionrock Recovery and your host. Lionrock Recovery has introduced a support meeting specifically for people struggling with anxiety related to the COVID-19 pandemic. Structured as an ongoing workshop, the COVID-19 anxiety support meeting will teach coping skills and to be a place to share and connect with others also feeling the effects of this crisis. Everyone struggling with anxiety about COVID-19 is welcome. Let me repeat that, everyone struggling with anxiety about COVID-19 is welcome. To view the meeting schedule and join a meeting in session visit www.lionrockrecovery.com and click on the orange banner at the top of the page. You can't miss it. Together, we will learn to feel more centered and empowered in the face of this great challenge.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Okay, so you tell the boyfriend this isn't going to work. You tell this room of strangers, you're bulimic. You only do it one more time because you have to tell your family. What is the next phase of this journey look like? This is the eating disorder, where did the alcohol come in?
Alyssa Rocco:
Yeah, so alcohol was still very much behind the scenes, but alcohol for me was less of a obvious [inaudible 00:39:01] because I kept it so hidden. And I didn't do it all the time. I was not an everyday drinker, I was a binger. So, next to people who drink a lot, my family, big partiers, I was the one that drank the least. So, it wasn't the obvious issue. And I was able to really get away with it for a little while. So, what happened next to my journey was, I decided my next career move was going to be to train to become a life coach with this company, which I fell in love with and realized they not only work with people one on one, but also have a corporate division and really go into companies and transform the corporate culture of a company and help people to be honest, and that was absolutely what I wanted to do.
Alyssa Rocco:
So, I trained with them for two years and when I graduated as a coach, I moved to New York City. And that's where I thought my life was taking off. I had money in the bank from my corporate job. I went to Australia by myself for a few weeks, I just felt like I was on top of the world. And it didn't go that way because alcohol caught up to me. So, what happened was, for three years, I really worked as a life coach and I was not very successful when I started, because as you can imagine, I understood theoretically what people should do. I could give advice, but I wasn't living true to it in my own life. So, people did not feel connected to me. And I got fired a bunch when I started. And so, I'm like, "Well, the problem is, I need more business experience." And so, I started doing other jobs, and I basically filled my plate.
Alyssa Rocco:
So, I was working all the time, not just with coaching but with other things, and still very much doing exactly what I was doing before. I was restraining my food, drinking on the weekend, rinse and repeat with periods of sobriety. And I really could prove to myself in that way that I didn't have a problem with alcohol because I would go months without drinking at all. But it was very much restrained and willpower. The minute that I started drinking again, it was like, all bets were off, I could drink to a blackout. I didn't tell anybody that. And I kept going for a period of three years. And at that point, I started to get a little bit more responsibility at work and everything blew up because the lie of... I couldn't keep my word to myself with alcohol. I wasn't telling anybody how obsessed I was with thinking about it. That really got to a point where the integrity of teaching something so different from that, I couldn't sustain anymore. And I started to get really sloppy.
Alyssa Rocco:
So, what it looked like in the regular world was I started to get sloppy, people complained. Inside, I was just constantly anxious and worried, my life became really unmanageable. And in the summer of 2015, I simultaneously, one after another... What's that word? When everything comes down. I lost my apartment, I was invited back. I ran out of money, I was in debt. I had to come clean up, like, "Oh my god, I really put myself in some debt." And I got a call from the head of the... My boss, essentially, and she said, "I don't know what's up with you, Alyssa, but something is really up with you. And you're fired. We can't have you on staff this way. And what we want you to do is make a list of your lies. And this is giving you a little bit of information about how we work as a life coaching company, but we really deal with helping people be true to themselves."
Alyssa Rocco:
And so, I was told to make a list of my lies and of course, what came up on my lie list was, all the times I drank and didn't tell anybody about it, and all the obsessive thoughts I had about it. To which the founder of the company said, "You're an alcoholic." And I said... My disease said, "No, I'm not." And I was given an ultimatum, I could either leave, or I could take on a different role inside of the company and get sober and to actually move out, she opened up her home to me, and gave me an opportunity to live out in Westchester and get sober out there and take on a different role inside the company. And I took that, and that was another moment of the grace of God just guiding me on my journey.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Yeah, wow, that is wild. What were some of the complains that were coming out?
Alyssa Rocco:
Just sloppy and people felt disconnected but also, I think we can tell. We're so responsive to people's energy and my energy... People could feel the wall that I had, right? So, it was like, I was very much operating from my head where I could give spew guidance, spew perspective, but it felt so disingenuous because people could tell that something was off, and they were right.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
So, you go to Westchester to get sober.
Alyssa Rocco:
Oh, my gosh. Yes.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
And you're living with your boss and-
Alyssa Rocco:
And her family.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
And her family. So, what did that look like? You must have fought that because you could keep these periods of sobriety but then you write this out, you take this opportunity, how did you kind of face hat truth?
Alyssa Rocco:
Well, at first, very much in denial. I went into AA knowing my life was unmanageable, but not thinking I was powerless over alcohol. And so, in that way, even though I got a sponsor, I did all the steps, I did everything the way I was supposed to do it, but it was a lie because I didn't believe that I deserved to be long there. And at the same time, I wanted to save my job, so I did anything that was asked of me. And until this point, I'm a city girl, I never lived in the country my whole life. I don't cook, I was cooking now for an entire family. I had no idea what I was doing. For the first time I made chicken in the oven and I cooked it upside down and it was not cooking. There were so many horror stories of me cooking [crosstalk 00:45:45] So, I'm cooking, I have this radically different life. I've always had a corporate job, so I was making all the money and had all this accolades and was traveling around the world as a corporate employee, now I'm living on a farm cooking.
Alyssa Rocco:
And in AA, all my friends are getting married or having kids and I was so miserable in my mind like, what am I doing here? I'm behind, I'm never going to catch up, [inaudible 00:46:18] passing me by, how dare they? They don't know who I am. Here I am resentful not thinking I'm an alcoholic. I mean, doing the job and doing everything but really struggling with this label of being an alcoholic. And so, what happened was, for a year and a half, I stayed doing the program, sort of lip service, doing everything right. And my life got better and bigger because I was sober, right? I wasn't drinking, so I took on more responsibility. My role grew, I learned how to cook. And about a year and a half in, I decided I was going to... I left for the weekend to go to Colorado and I ended up drinking kombucha. And I compass as a relapse because in the moment that I was handed the kombucha glass in Colorado, I absolutely knew that there were traces of alcohol, trace of liquor in this kombucha because it came off the tap.
Alyssa Rocco:
And I didn't care. Because in my mind, I decided screw all this, I'm going to go around the world. I'm going to dance, I'm leaving. I don't need this anymore. So, all of my behaviors of people pleasing and saying yes, and oh, we're still there, nothing changed. So, I came back from that trip, and I essentially resigned from my job. And the founder looked at me, Lauren, and she said, "You sound like an addict. Alyssa, how quick before you get a drink?" And when she said that, of course, again, my disease says, "No, I'm not." But I was able to just not do anything, not drink and just watch my mind for the next two days. And my mind went to every single place I was going to go drink and party as I traveled around the world and danced. And that was another moment of God's grace. Because in that moment, I realized I'm an alcoholic, because only an alcoholic would destroy their life like that, destroy everything that they love, that they've worked so hard to build for a drink.
Alyssa Rocco:
So, that's when I decided I was going to do sobriety the way I needed to do sobriety, and I wanted to find people who were like me. And I found women's organizations like She Recovers, which is a huge women's organization that are helping women recover from anything, not just alcohol. But I also went deeper into the 12 Steps and really got honest about my program. I found the right sponsor. I started doing the 12 Steps with the Big Book really in depth. And I really owned my disease and owned my life and really took it on for me. And that was the first time that I really started doing something different for me, not for anybody else.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
And that created the shift.
Alyssa Rocco:
Yes.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
And how old were you at that time?
Alyssa Rocco:
33.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
33, okay. And so, how long have you been sober now?
Alyssa Rocco:
I went into the program of AA in 2015 and I had the kombucha in 2017, June 2017. So [crosstalk 00:49:38].
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
And so, for you, how do you handle... There are lots of people who drink kombucha in AA or in recovery, where they don't consider it relapse, how do you... Are people like, "Oh, that's not a big deal?" Or have you come into contact with that, or people are defensive about it because they drink kombucha, how have you dealt with that?
Alyssa Rocco:
Yeah, I tell them, your sobriety date is a personal decision. And for me, I knew that that... Kombucha had... The kind I had at least, had traces of alcohol in it because it was off the tap in Colorado. And I knew that before I had it, that's why it kind of is a relapse.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Yeah, yeah. I know how those conversations go. So, you get sober from alcohol, now, from this particular period, in my experience and the experience of lots of women is that you have the eating disorder, right? Then you start drinking, which kind of lessens the eating disorder in a sense because you have something else, and then you quit drinking and using the substances and then it just comes roaring back.
Alyssa Rocco:
Yeah.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Was that your experience at all?
Alyssa Rocco:
[inaudible 00:50:58] with our addictions. Yes, it was at first. It was. Because by giving up alcohol, I learned that my old friend sugar had really been there from the beginning. And so, I needed to... This was really, when... So, I dealt with that. The way that I dealt with it is through promises, making promises to myself. So, in coaching, what we teach is how to make and keep a promise that aligns with a dream. And my dream was really to be free of any addiction, right? But in honor of having a beautiful and healthy and nourishing relationship with my body, and with food, I put in place promises where I ate enough protein and enough veggies and limited sugar. I get one dessert a week and I was able to keep that promise to myself, and I have a structure of accountability where I report promises to my coach. And that really work for me.
Alyssa Rocco:
So, [inaudible 00:52:08] alcohol I needed to give it up. I can't have a drink ever as an alcoholic, because that first drink sends me off to the races, but I can keep a promise with my food, and that's how I've managed that. And then of course, working the 12 Steps, where I really have a completely different relationship with God and a higher power. That has also taught me that the reward comes from having a life that is beyond my wildest dreams. It's no longer in food, or in work or in controlling my weight. It's not in the things that my mind used to think were the rewards.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Yeah. You talked about having to freeze your eggs and wanting to get pregnant. When did that happen, and what was that about?
Alyssa Rocco:
Yeah, so, that happened last year. So, I'm 37, being a mom is something I've always known I wanted. I just have always known in my heart that it's part of my life, and how God works in my life. I'm very spiritual, I always have been. I always had a relationship to a God, but I didn't learn what that really was the way... That's evolved over time, and it's really changed for me.
Alyssa Rocco:
But when I moved in with Lauren, I had lived on the farm, one of the jobs I had was to be a nanny for her three kids. And so, I developed relationships with these kids, and it was just exactly what I needed to know I'm going to be a mom. So, then I'm getting older, so I'm like, "Okay, it really is time where I need to freeze my eggs." When I made that decision, I actually didn't have the money to do it. It's an expensive procedure. I make the decision, right? The next... It must have been about a week or two weeks, my mother calls me. She found this random key that ended up being to a security deposit box where there were all of these bonds that had been taken out in my name before I was born.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
No, stop.
Alyssa Rocco:
And I literally... Yeah, I kid you not. So, I'm going to the bank to deposit this money and I'm writing out the bonds, the bonds are from the 1920s. I have to sign each in the back of them. And I'm thanking each of my ancestors to contributing to my egg freeze process.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
That's insane.
Alyssa Rocco:
It ultimately, was completely [crosstalk 00:54:35].
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Oh, yeah.
Alyssa Rocco:
I was able to... And then I had some saving, so it was all paid for. But that's very much how it worked.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Totally.
Alyssa Rocco:
Right?
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
I mean, I've heard so many stories that way but that's pretty wild. Some bonds from the 1920s in a safety deposit box that your mom finds a key to, and she decides to let go, I mean, that's wild. That's wild.
Alyssa Rocco:
And that process taught me how to be comfortable with my body changing and gaining weight, because it no longer was... I had a bigger mission, my mission was, I'm getting my body ready to have a baby, and so it's okay. No matter what shape it takes, no matter... I'm still beautiful. I had to learn how to have that relationship and language because my mind didn't have that language on its own. It really took some change.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Yeah. My very cursory knowledge of this but when you freeze your eggs, you have to take hormones to let them release and that's where the weight gain comes in.
Alyssa Rocco:
Exactly.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Is that right?
Alyssa Rocco:
Correct.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Okay. And that's not a super pleasant process, right?
Alyssa Rocco:
No. Every night, I had five shots and I'm gaining weight and it's all bloated and you feel nasty. And then, I'm still looking for my partner, right? And so, this was something that I... But being a mom was something that was just so close, I just knew instinctually that was what I wanted. So, going and doing this process has been easier for me versus the process of dating and opening my heart to a man. So, this is just a little side note. But I'm about to do the procedure of the retrieval.
Alyssa Rocco:
So, you're on these hormones for a period of 10 days, then they give you this injection, and then they do the retrieval. And I'm waiting in line and there are three girls in front of me and they all have their partners with them and they're like the cutest couples, and I'm just like, "Okay, God, thank you for showing me exactly what I need to see to inspire me to want that." Because until that point, I've really been like, "I can do this on my own. I don't need a man." But that really woke me up to how much I also want that too, so it was a good process not just for my body but also getting me serious in finding my person.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Yeah. Well, congratulations on that. That's really cool, that whole series of events. And it's a lot like pregnancy is... And getting pregnant anyway, you swell, you're bloated, you're-
Alyssa Rocco:
[crosstalk 00:57:21] do you have?
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
I have twin three year old boys.
Alyssa Rocco:
Aww, [crosstalk 00:57:27] twins.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Yeah, so it's a lot. But it's really one of those things I'll be interested to talk to you after you venture into motherhood, which is where you have to look at your body differently and have different conversations with your body about like, okay, what did my... This greater purpose, this different phase of life, because all the same, you still have Rexy in your head and she's not going anywhere, and she expects you to be 15 and be able to run a mile and all those calories are off or whatever. And it's just not the case anymore. And now, you have lost time, your body is different, I mean, you cellularly change as a result. And so, it's one of those things that was interesting when... For my recovery, I'm 14 years sober. And I had done a ton of work before the twins were born, therapy steps many times, different types of inventories, all sorts of stuff, right?
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
And I thought I had covered some of the deepest areas. But when the twins were born, that was the beginning piece. And because I became a different... Cellularly, I had these different experiences, it pushed me into a new place where I had to do more recovery in a different way. And I didn't expect that on topics I really thought were resolved, but it was just like the next stage of things. And I feel like when you are committed to long term recovery and doing those things over the course of time and the spirituality, and just interested in different ways of evolving, when that time comes where you're at that next phase and something's going to be totally different, you learn how to translate those tools.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
But when you're a person who's like, "Okay, I got sober, hands off the wheel. That's it. I'm good. I'm just going to continue... Do this for the rest of my life, like this." And you don't really invest in the ongoing changes, it catches you by surprise, because the thing you did when you were a year, two years, three years sober is not the same thing you're going to need at five and 10. And if you aren't willing or interested... I think interested is kind of a key thing, interested in expanding on that and just being involved in the journey, it's hard for those old behaviors not to come up and say like, "This is the only way." I really see people fall out of recovery as a result of that.
Alyssa Rocco:
Yeah. I think what you just said is really important, because for me what it underlines is how life always gives me what I need to go deeper into spirituality, which is what I need recovery and coaching for. And so, I'll tell you that right now, I've been in the middle of a health journey, where about six months ago, the doctor discovered... I have been having digestion issues, right? [inaudible 01:00:53] So, digestion. I go to the doctor, they discover a mass in my rectum that's 10 centimeters and blocking my whole digestion. So, it sends me down this process of testing, is it cancer? Is it not cancer? It looks like it's cancer. All the images show it is, but all the biopsies show it's not.
Alyssa Rocco:
So, long story short, I go in for surgery finally where it's benign, but it needs to get removed. I go in for surgery, they can't remove it. Because the way that it's located requires either major abdominal surgery, which would leave me with a bag forever, or I get a confirmed diagnosis for cancer because it's probably just a couple of cells, it hasn't gone into any other areas of my body. But if I can get a confirmed diagnosis, then they'll shrink it through radiation and chemo which would be the best bet for to actually keep my bathroom privileges. So, all of this is happening in the middle of COVID, in the middle of new world order, right?
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
New word... Oh man.
Alyssa Rocco:
And I'm living with my-
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
This was three months ago.
Alyssa Rocco:
This all started on October, this [crosstalk 01:02:24]. So, I'm in Boston. So, I was supposed to have the surgery in New York but then he wants to do major abdominal surgery, now I'm looking for second opinions. I come to Boston, I'm living with my parents. I'm now in the middle of COVID and I'm desperately seeking a second opinion and finding out what I'm going to do. I end up finding a doctor in California who can do the surgery that I need. That's why my dad and I are hopping on a plane on Sunday. Literally, I am in the middle of this. This is real time, okay? And am I scared? Have I gone through moments of the doom and gloom and dark of, oh my god, what the hell? How is this going to change my life? What if they can't fix me, right? So, I have all those thoughts. I'm reporting all of those thoughts to other people every single day. I have a fun little text game that I play with my coaches where we're like all zapping these thoughts together.
Alyssa Rocco:
But the bigger thing is that I've gone so... I'm in the middle of also my amends with my [inaudible 01:03:32]. I literally... Resolving my past [inaudible 01:03:36] My past relationship with my ex boyfriend, we just did a resolve on Saturday. And I swear, God gives me everything I need to go through this moment. I really feel protected and carried in a way I could never have dreamed of when I was active. And before I've always been the girl who was so scared and so controlling and was so obsessive, none of that is happening. And that is a result of this work. And so, for me, it makes me want to go deeper in the work and deeper in giving back and doing the work my sponsee... And giving away what I have, because that's what has me walk through all of it.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
I have a friend, colleague, who had cancer in her rectum, and she always says... And she's five or 10 years, whatever the window is, when you're out of it, to be fully recovered, and she always talks about her ass cancer. She says, "Of course, I got ass cancer." She said, "No, I couldn't get a better cancer, now I have to tell people I have cancer of the ass." And she's so funny. She's like, "You're devastated but then you're like, seriously?"
Alyssa Rocco:
I'm like, "They're finally removing this [inaudible 01:05:03] my ass." The girl who doesn't get pleasure, the anorexic who doesn't get to experience joy, all of that emotion getting suppressed, that's what turns into [inaudible 01:05:18].
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Right.
Alyssa Rocco:
So, they're removing [inaudible 01:05:20] in my ass.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
It's one of those things where you just... I think that's kind of like where it comes to, which is that we're all going to have our day in the ring, right? We don't know when it's going to be, and we don't know how many times. And so, when you live the path of trying to get well when there isn't crisis going on, on a regular basis, you're so much better prepared for when the bottom falls out or whatever, or what looks like the bottom falling out that isn't. And that's the cool thing about being on the journey is, you don't know what it's going to look like and so you have this universal set of tools that are going to work in every situation, but you have to keep them sharp, and you have to keep picking up more, and you have to continually renew your faith in those tools. And it's a process.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
What I love about She Recovers and kind of just the recovery community in general, is you don't have to be in recovery from substances or an eating disorder. I mean, you can be in recovery from anything, whether that's a domestic violence relationship, even cancer. I mean, cancer survivors, that is one of those things where it pushes you to look deeper to find... All of these things, whatever the recovery is, it's valid and the tools work.
Alyssa Rocco:
100%. And I think the other thing that I would just offer and everything that you say echo, is that the way that coaching has also helped shape my life is, it gave me the tools to actually dream, actually go, "Okay, I'm sober." Because I didn't get sober to stop drinking, most people don't. They don't get sober to stop the vice, the vice is but a symptom, or the addictive substance is but a symptom. We get sober to live a life that is beyond our wildest dreams. And when I got sober, I was like, "Okay, I'm not drinking." I used to reward myself in all these unhealthy ways, now what? How am I going to reward? How do I even design what I want? How do I even know? I don't know. And then, really having the ability to get clear about what I wanted in the different areas of my life, for my love life, for my financial life, for my career success, and then actually take the concrete steps to make it happen.
Alyssa Rocco:
I had never actually had honest intimate conversations with people, because I'd always avoided that by numbing out with my substance or by leaving, those were pretty much the two modes I had, right? Be a doormat, numb out, or leave [inaudible 01:08:28] dig and going deeper was not an option for me. And I didn't have the tools to do that. And 12 Steps has been incredible, but also the tools we have in life coaching has been incredible. And I say all that because one of the things that we want to offer your community is access to our online coaching community. It's sort of like another community like She Recovers where you pay a one time fee and you have access not only to these tools to how to dream about your life and how to have honest conversations, and script to have honest conversations with race and with wisdom, but also a community like what you see here where there's Zoom calls every single week, and you also... So, having people where you can connect and talk through these things is essential, right?
Alyssa Rocco:
It's part of the recovery process, where you have the circle in AA where it's like a body and spirituality, right? This is the body part, so having the community of people and also you get a free private coaching session. And that is something we want to offer people especially when you're sober, because how to design a life in sobriety that is beyond your wildest dreams is not something that comes naturally in many ways.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Okay. So, where can people find this information?
Alyssa Rocco:
Sure. If you type into your browser inneru, I-N-N-E-R-U.coach.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Got it. Okay, so I-N-N-E=R-U.coach and this beautiful website comes up, it's here for 50% off and the code is, couragetochange75.
Alyssa Rocco:
Exactly.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Whoo, okay, awesome. And if you forget this, this will be in the show notes, inneru.coach and if you completely forget, podcast@lionrockrecovery.com is our email. That is awesome. And you can want to be in recovery from anything?
Alyssa Rocco:
You can be in recovery from anything or not even in recovery, I mean, this open to everybody in anywhere. And I will say, usually we give a $75 off but right now we're in a special mode because the world is [crosstalk 01:11:08].
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
The world is falling apart.
Alyssa Rocco:
[inaudible 01:11:12] now more than ever this [crosstalk 01:11:15].
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Yeah, very much so. Some of the people, my friends will call me, I'm just so upset, I'm like, "Oh, why? Because there's a pandemic? Yeah. Okay, so, you're human and normal, great." It's pretty normal guys. If you're upset or feelings or depressed or grieving or scared or any of those feelings, you have won the grand prize of being human.
Alyssa Rocco:
Exactly, 100%. And then, I think, personally, all the feelings are normal. All the feelings should be expressed, please. And what are we going to do about it? How do we rise in this moment? Because as people who are sober, I personally believe I have a responsibility to help others. And that's what keeps me sober and keeps me connected to the higher reason why this is all here, which I think it's to bring us closer and to unite us, and to actually have us take on the healing that must be done in the world. Now is the perfect chance.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
I keep saying privately to people, of course now I'm going to say, but that there is nothing that I can think of that would globally bring the world and Corporate America, corporations, the economy, all these things to its knees. Not that I would wish that, to be clear, but that the ability to create standstill in a world that is so chaotic, whether or not we would have wished it, there's certainly stuff we can take to use to become better to our advantage, to really rethink things, and whether that's in your own life, whether that's in the environment, whether that's in corporations, or how we do things.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
There's no time in the world I can think of where the airlines would stop, where the cruise ships would give the ocean a break, where all these different pieces of the puzzle would just stop. And for the families that are hurting and can't pay their... Again, wouldn't wish this situation, absolutely not. And I hope that we all can use it to make things better and just take advantage and turn it into some sort of betterment.
Alyssa Rocco:
Yeah, I mean, I think that's for me one of the reasons why community is so important during this moment. I know on Inner.U, we have weekly calls and people are really talking about, how do I reinvent my business right now? How do I come out on the other side of the... Visioning myself to not only keep an income stream, but even be able to capitalize on whatever is next. And it gives business owners a really unique opportunity, or people who have been thinking about transition for a while but haven't been able to make that jump, it's a perfect moment to go, "Okay, I have this skill set. Who in the world needs this skill set?" Because the people who were... We have different needs than we even did three months ago, right? The people who are making masks, the people who are making Purell, the people who are making [crosstalk 01:14:55] There are all these people that actually, the demand is in a different place, right?
Alyssa Rocco:
So, then, how do you use your skill set? How do you use what you have to go offer yourself to those places that actually have a need? So, it really is a moment of reinvention. And if you're in a conversation about that, it's much more easier to navigate it because you're getting ideas and you're having conversations and you're feeling connected, versus the isolation of being behind a computer and just plugging away and feeling pretty alone and disconnected. So, please get connected. We even do free coaching right now in the morning for anybody in the world that wants to join at 9:00 AM, and you'll find that on the website. But it's just another way that we're providing a forum for people to talk and share and get through this moment in time.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Yeah. Who knew that you needed so much toilet paper for a respiratory virus? I mean, things are... This is just Charmin's bright shining moment, could have never predicted. It's amazing. Yeah, well I adore you. You're amazing and I definitely would love to check in with you, see how California goes, maybe we can do an Instagram Live and do a little catch up on that and see how things are. And thank you so much for being here and supporting listeners, and supporting all the people that you're helping through your coaching. And inneru.coach, we will put that in the show notes. So, if you're wondering, inneru.coach, couragetochange75, and if you forget all of this, can't remember anything, don't want to rewind this podcast, just email us at podcast@lionrockrecovery.com.
Alyssa Rocco:
Awesome. Thank you so much, Ashley, for having me, and also the work that you do to help other people. It's so important and I just really am grateful for you and the work. Thank you.
Ashley Loeb Blassingame:
Thank you. Thank you, likewise, best of luck to you and we'll talk soon. This podcast is sponsored by Lionrock Recovery. Lion Rock provides online substance abuse counseling, where clients can get help from the privacy of their own home. They're accredited by the Joint Commission and sessions are private, affordable and user friendly. Call their free helpline at 800-258-6550 or visit www.lionrockrecovery.com for more information.